keep on walking

today is sunday... so what's up with dat..
ok this is the real story is... i argue with my bf again, yes and again... and again.... maybe this is my fault.. i didnt mean to be like this... i was so frust.. he ryte now ignoring me.. everytime i message him it turned out be bad.. then we fight.. my instinc suck~! yup... suck~! i hate my life... even someone dat i luv hate me. why am i become so annoying, huarghhh~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please i cant take this anymore~! i really need to rest... i hate being alone.... but i always be alone.. i dont have sum1 dat i can share everything... even my family i dont trust them.. my bf dat my only hope turn back off me... my friends dat i trust is already have problems i dunt want to burden them.. i cant handle my stress alone.. if i start to smoke again.. dat will make me feel unhealty again... huuuoowaaahhhh~!! maybe if i start to do housework maybe i can let go of this.... hopefully lah.... crossfinger.... huhu =.='

i ain't broken

kenapa mesti aku juga yang kena...
why my instinct is so strong sehinggakan my BF hate me... even he called me SIAL...
maybe i'm afraid to lose him... but bukan kah aku kena let go ja bila dia mau breakup with me...
hurmm~ so sad sehinggakan i don't even know what to do... everything dat i asked and did semuanya salah..
i just want him to be honest with me... maybe i'm afraid to get hurt again after my past relations makes me hurt really badly...
semua lelaki yg aku pernah jumpa dulu semuanya memainkan perasaan aku... maybe dat's y i become like this...
i was so protactive... i'm afraid of losing him...
even my brain ordy set like this... aku pernah terluka dulu...sehinggakan aku tak tau what to do with my life..
i need to calm myself down.. i need a rest.. i have to release my stress... i have to let go of  this feeling...
i can't even sleep right now... i'm so stress sehinggakan my health terjejas... please.... i need to change this.. this make me sick.. buatkan aku tergangu.. i have to let go of this.. i must learn how to not become aggresive...
i must change... must change~! i hate being like this... plase help me...~!!!!

bored

sitting at home is so stressful... i am dying because of my boring. my boyfriend ignoring me, and i feel so alone right now. bla bla bla~! boring~!!!!!

SATURDAY

time pagi-pagi jak my bie ada d rumah, hemmm~ then evening dia pulang. one more thing, me check dia pnya hp.. so many new numbers.. hurmm suspicious betul. he also changed my name on his mobile phone. dulu MY WIFE.. but now MY PINK.. hemm apala tu.. also my old number he changed to PINKY K.B.. is it mean than his LOVE to me dah berkurang? hemm well anyway apa-apa pun just let it go.. walaupun he did not love me anymore, but i still want to carry on. as long that i can stand.. right now i can see every dark side of him also sometimes i hate him. well LOVE IS BLIND.. huargghhh~!!!! Life must go on.... no matter what happen...

p/s: i hate my cousin so much... NERD~!

BEFORE GO TO WORK

today, aku start kerja d SJK(c) Shan Tao.. wohaaaahaaa~!!! boring.....~! aku benci dengan environment di sekolah tu.. sangat-sangat la benci.. not because the teacher and the pupil but because of my staff... huh~! tersangat-sangatlah nda faham bahasa. Dia nda sedar ka yang dia tu kerja ada pembantu, aku keja nda ada pembantu... ngok~! memang kerja dia cepat nda macam aku lambat.. dia ada suction aku nda ada. dia ada triple air syringe aku pla nda ada.. BODOH~!!!! orang tua nak mampos~! sabar jak la~!!!! semua pun tekanan bah d sini ni... ntah apa la mau buat... dah la paper project aku belum buat2 lagi.. adess~!!! SIAL~!!! must speed nih~! bah tym to go to work sdh ni.. huiii kalo d Luyang lagi kan best~ byk kawan time buat kerja.. ni d sana kawan semua orang2 tua.. SETAN betul~!!!

about my cousin...

Today, i went home early from work. I followed my staff from Luyang's clinic then she dropped me at Queen Elizabeth's hospital. So I walked from the hospital to home. Before i reach home, I stopped at small grocery near my home. I bought some foods for me to eat this night. When i arrived at home, i went to the back of the home to see my clothes that i hang outside. Then i saw a little note that my weired cousin wrote said that.." JANGAN ALIHKAN PAKAIAN SAYA" hahahahaha~ WTF~!!! hello~!! pakaian mu tu cuma sepender buruk.. dah la besar, kuning-kuning, getah spender pun macam mau terbuka da... hey.. aku cuma alihkan pakaianmu tu sebab aku takut basah...kalo kotor mengomplain jua ko sma aku.. sandiii~!!! bongok betul pnya kazen...~!! TERLAMPAU!!!!! la bah... setan betul~! kalo eya pun ko nda suka aku bagi tau la kunu awal-awal.. dasar perempuan pukima.~! nasib jak ko tu kazen kalo nda lama da kali aku sumpah-sumpah ko sana.. perempuan gila babi betul~!

last nite

last nite, me pulang ke KEPAYAN RIDGE home... so, i went to my cousin house because i have to followed her to come back home here. but.. it seems so uncomfortable because she already sent me a message but i did not got it. dia sepatutnya cakap dia nda mau pulang sini.. dia cakap dai mau pulang besok.. masalahnya aku dah tukar number... nahhh di situlah ketidakselesaannya apabila me want to go home but she didn't.. so, along the way aku terpaksa menahan rasa ni.. huii memang betul2 lah tidak selesa.. waaaaahhhaaa~!!!!

anyway... ryte now i'm so confuse...lalalalala~~~

my boring life..

at home boring..