i ain't broken

kenapa mesti aku juga yang kena...
why my instinct is so strong sehinggakan my BF hate me... even he called me SIAL...
maybe i'm afraid to lose him... but bukan kah aku kena let go ja bila dia mau breakup with me...
hurmm~ so sad sehinggakan i don't even know what to do... everything dat i asked and did semuanya salah..
i just want him to be honest with me... maybe i'm afraid to get hurt again after my past relations makes me hurt really badly...
semua lelaki yg aku pernah jumpa dulu semuanya memainkan perasaan aku... maybe dat's y i become like this...
i was so protactive... i'm afraid of losing him...
even my brain ordy set like this... aku pernah terluka dulu...sehinggakan aku tak tau what to do with my life..
i need to calm myself down.. i need a rest.. i have to release my stress... i have to let go of  this feeling...
i can't even sleep right now... i'm so stress sehinggakan my health terjejas... please.... i need to change this.. this make me sick.. buatkan aku tergangu.. i have to let go of this.. i must learn how to not become aggresive...
i must change... must change~! i hate being like this... plase help me...~!!!!