keep on walking

today is sunday... so what's up with dat..
ok this is the real story is... i argue with my bf again, yes and again... and again.... maybe this is my fault.. i didnt mean to be like this... i was so frust.. he ryte now ignoring me.. everytime i message him it turned out be bad.. then we fight.. my instinc suck~! yup... suck~! i hate my life... even someone dat i luv hate me. why am i become so annoying, huarghhh~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please i cant take this anymore~! i really need to rest... i hate being alone.... but i always be alone.. i dont have sum1 dat i can share everything... even my family i dont trust them.. my bf dat my only hope turn back off me... my friends dat i trust is already have problems i dunt want to burden them.. i cant handle my stress alone.. if i start to smoke again.. dat will make me feel unhealty again... huuuoowaaahhhh~!! maybe if i start to do housework maybe i can let go of this.... hopefully lah.... crossfinger.... huhu =.='

i ain't broken

kenapa mesti aku juga yang kena...
why my instinct is so strong sehinggakan my BF hate me... even he called me SIAL...
maybe i'm afraid to lose him... but bukan kah aku kena let go ja bila dia mau breakup with me...
hurmm~ so sad sehinggakan i don't even know what to do... everything dat i asked and did semuanya salah..
i just want him to be honest with me... maybe i'm afraid to get hurt again after my past relations makes me hurt really badly...
semua lelaki yg aku pernah jumpa dulu semuanya memainkan perasaan aku... maybe dat's y i become like this...
i was so protactive... i'm afraid of losing him...
even my brain ordy set like this... aku pernah terluka dulu...sehinggakan aku tak tau what to do with my life..
i need to calm myself down.. i need a rest.. i have to release my stress... i have to let go of  this feeling...
i can't even sleep right now... i'm so stress sehinggakan my health terjejas... please.... i need to change this.. this make me sick.. buatkan aku tergangu.. i have to let go of this.. i must learn how to not become aggresive...
i must change... must change~! i hate being like this... plase help me...~!!!!

bored

sitting at home is so stressful... i am dying because of my boring. my boyfriend ignoring me, and i feel so alone right now. bla bla bla~! boring~!!!!!